Catching Up
First, I want to apologize for being away for so long. Not much has been happening around here, so I thought I'd write nothing at all than report on the mindless day-to-day drudgery that is my life.
I promised I'd step up the blog posts this month, and I will. Besides, as Matt would say, I just need to write, dammit. How else can I call myself a writer?
Truth is, I've had a couple of personal set-backs and disappoints these past few weeks, and they've come at a time in my life where everyone else seems to be getting their shit together. All around me, friends and co-workers are either hooking up or finally re-discovering their love for themselves. Still others have focused their energies on building their careers or finishing graduate school. And here I am, literally smoldering in envy.
As for the driver's license, I have the money I need to send to the Tennessee Department of Safety. I got insurance through Geico, and they sent Tennessee a copy of my SR-22 on March 17th, but it's going to take roughly 2 weeks for the the Tenn Dept. of Safety to process it upon receipt. As soon as I have confirmation of Tennessee receiving the SR-22 form, I'll overnight the $190 reinstatement fee and the letter of release from Campbell & Campbell to the Dept. of Safety office in Nashville (or was it Knoxville? I can't remember... It's written down here somewhere...) As soon as they reinstate my license down there, Mom will drive me to Columbus, where I have to pay another $30 and show them my SR-22 and letter of release. Once that's finished, and Ohio adjusts me in their computers, I have to go to the DMV office here and Xenia and... drum roll... get my license. That will probably include another fee and possibly a test or two... But by this point, after the lower level of hell I'll have trudged through at this point, nothing will phase me.
All of that to get a driver's license. All because I got into a freakin' accident without liability insurance. (Long story, search the blog if you really want to read about it.) It's insanely frustrating, nerve-wracking, and anxiety-inducing. This is one source of my many, many tribulations (o woe ith me).
Pair that up with this recent trend of girls who've suddenly discovered their independence and revel in the glory of being single. Yeah, it definitely seems like women have surpassed men in a lot of ways, self-empowerment being one of them. I blame Oprah and Sex and the City (among other things) for this. I talk to girls, these young women (18-29), and they're quick to point out that not only do they not need a boyfriend, they don't even want a boyfriend. They're living the good life, clubbing, dancing, weaving drama, dressing up real pretty, doing body shots off hot guys and having drinks bought for them. Men are dogs and women have the pick of the litter. They can waltz in, point a finger at a guy and say to herself, "That's the man I'm going home with tonight." And that's usually exactly what happens. Imagine having that kind of power, guys.
But there's something deeper than that going on here. Maybe I'm totally clueless, hair-brained, blind, delusional, or any number of similar adjectives... But what happened? Women are afraid men will abandon them, so they scurry around, building careers and shields around their heart, convincing themselves that they're happy being alone, they're happy having strings of meaningless relationships with "hot guys", they find fulfilment not in companionship, trust, friendship, and love, but in a solid bank account, expensive clothes, perfume, jewelry, diamonds, Louie Vaton (sp?) purses and endless amounts of shoes. Women enter into relationships already ready to walk away from them at any given moment. How are we supposed to function as men in a scene like that? You're so quick to point out to us that you'd prefer to live alone, that you'd rather stay at home at watch reality TV by yourself, that you horde your privacy, that you attract jerks, that you're been hurt so now you're not ready or willing to open your heart... We're pierced with that barrage of arrows right from the very beginning... And we're left sitting there thinking, "Well, hell, she'd obviously rather do her own thing than be with me, so why bother? This obviously isn't worth it. It would be a waste of my time and (yes, I'm a broke bastard) my money, too."
And no, this hasn't just happened to me once. It's happened several times in the past. Never in my life have I ever witnessed such a paradigm shift. Growing up, all I heard, over and over and over again, from TV shows, movies, books, magazines, gossip, whatever... Guys can't commit. Guys are incapable of commitment. Guys cannot be monogamous. Blah blah blah. I don't know if it was my environment as a teenager and young adult, but me and all my closest guy friends, the six or seven of us who really stuck together through junior high and high school... We were the pathetically hopeless romantics. We were the guys who weren't necessarily desperate for girlfriends, but who, through some unfortunate stroke of chance, ended up with this annoying capacity to like one girl, and just that girl, and be totally content and satisfied. We were stupid and young and wrote goofy love poems. We'd daydream about taking our girls out on dates to nice restaurants downtown, or to music shows, or for long walks on the bridge. We'd make mix tapes for them, hold their hands during basement dates while watching videos. Never once did me or any of my guy friends question their feelings.
It was always the girls who dumped us. Either because we were too nice, or they "weren't ready for a relationship" (altho they always seemed to pop up with a new boyfriend the following week), or they just simply realized they didn't like us like that (funny how you girls always have to make out or fool around with us first before you can figure that crap out). Still, it was always the girls who didn't want to be in a relationship. Why? Because ever since they were little girls, they were constantly told they were pretty, they were beautiful, they were gorgeous, they were cute, and you all know, a beautiful girl gets whatever she wants. And beautiful girls want lots and lots of things.
This continues to today.
I'm not saying it's not good for women to feel independent and self-secure. I'm just saying, don't be afraid to let a man take care of you. Don't be so wrapped up in your own little girl-power world that you can't let your guard down enough to feel true affection and comfort. There are nice guys out there, girls, but if you blaze through them like a Tazmanian Devil hooker drunk on half-priced margaritas, you'll never find them.
...
On a lighter note, this summer is going the best EVER, as far as movies go.
Sin City opens today. From what I've seen of the previews alone, I have a deep feeling this movie is going to devastatingly kick our asses.
Next, you have Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith. I saw the previews for this movie, and I almost cried. For once, George Lucas may have gotten something right. I may just forgive him for the sparkling scheizefests that were Episodes I and II.
And then the movie I've been anticipating the most, for the past several years: Batman Begins. I've said over and over again, ever since I saw American Psycho, that Christian Bale should be Batman. And that it should be a movie about his origins, based on the Batman: Year 1 graphic novel by Frank Miller. Proof that God answers prayers came along a year and a half ago when I found out that a) Christian Bale was going to be the new Batman, and b) it was going to be a movie about his origins, based on the Year 1 graphic novel. Talk about wish fulfillment to the Nth degree...
Plus, you've got The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy, which looks unutterably fantastic; and then there's Steven Spielberg's War of the Worlds; Johnny Depp's Charlie and the Chocolate Factory; Tim Burton's The Corpse Bride; Fantastic Four... The list goes on and on. I'll be spending a LOT of time at the cineplex this summer.
Coincidentally, I'm taking a vacation in July to drive down to Tennessee. I'm going to gather the tribe and we're all going to watch Batman Begins at The Rave, this new theater in downtown Chattanooga that everyone's freaking out over. I hear it's possibly the coolest movie theater ever.
...
I think I might have a project for my blog. I think I'm going to write a blog post for each and every one of my obsessions, possibly to reveal the crazed psyche that exists within this fleshy gray globe of mine, and help me better understand myself. More to come...
I promised I'd step up the blog posts this month, and I will. Besides, as Matt would say, I just need to write, dammit. How else can I call myself a writer?
Truth is, I've had a couple of personal set-backs and disappoints these past few weeks, and they've come at a time in my life where everyone else seems to be getting their shit together. All around me, friends and co-workers are either hooking up or finally re-discovering their love for themselves. Still others have focused their energies on building their careers or finishing graduate school. And here I am, literally smoldering in envy.
As for the driver's license, I have the money I need to send to the Tennessee Department of Safety. I got insurance through Geico, and they sent Tennessee a copy of my SR-22 on March 17th, but it's going to take roughly 2 weeks for the the Tenn Dept. of Safety to process it upon receipt. As soon as I have confirmation of Tennessee receiving the SR-22 form, I'll overnight the $190 reinstatement fee and the letter of release from Campbell & Campbell to the Dept. of Safety office in Nashville (or was it Knoxville? I can't remember... It's written down here somewhere...) As soon as they reinstate my license down there, Mom will drive me to Columbus, where I have to pay another $30 and show them my SR-22 and letter of release. Once that's finished, and Ohio adjusts me in their computers, I have to go to the DMV office here and Xenia and... drum roll... get my license. That will probably include another fee and possibly a test or two... But by this point, after the lower level of hell I'll have trudged through at this point, nothing will phase me.
All of that to get a driver's license. All because I got into a freakin' accident without liability insurance. (Long story, search the blog if you really want to read about it.) It's insanely frustrating, nerve-wracking, and anxiety-inducing. This is one source of my many, many tribulations (o woe ith me).
Pair that up with this recent trend of girls who've suddenly discovered their independence and revel in the glory of being single. Yeah, it definitely seems like women have surpassed men in a lot of ways, self-empowerment being one of them. I blame Oprah and Sex and the City (among other things) for this. I talk to girls, these young women (18-29), and they're quick to point out that not only do they not need a boyfriend, they don't even want a boyfriend. They're living the good life, clubbing, dancing, weaving drama, dressing up real pretty, doing body shots off hot guys and having drinks bought for them. Men are dogs and women have the pick of the litter. They can waltz in, point a finger at a guy and say to herself, "That's the man I'm going home with tonight." And that's usually exactly what happens. Imagine having that kind of power, guys.
But there's something deeper than that going on here. Maybe I'm totally clueless, hair-brained, blind, delusional, or any number of similar adjectives... But what happened? Women are afraid men will abandon them, so they scurry around, building careers and shields around their heart, convincing themselves that they're happy being alone, they're happy having strings of meaningless relationships with "hot guys", they find fulfilment not in companionship, trust, friendship, and love, but in a solid bank account, expensive clothes, perfume, jewelry, diamonds, Louie Vaton (sp?) purses and endless amounts of shoes. Women enter into relationships already ready to walk away from them at any given moment. How are we supposed to function as men in a scene like that? You're so quick to point out to us that you'd prefer to live alone, that you'd rather stay at home at watch reality TV by yourself, that you horde your privacy, that you attract jerks, that you're been hurt so now you're not ready or willing to open your heart... We're pierced with that barrage of arrows right from the very beginning... And we're left sitting there thinking, "Well, hell, she'd obviously rather do her own thing than be with me, so why bother? This obviously isn't worth it. It would be a waste of my time and (yes, I'm a broke bastard) my money, too."
And no, this hasn't just happened to me once. It's happened several times in the past. Never in my life have I ever witnessed such a paradigm shift. Growing up, all I heard, over and over and over again, from TV shows, movies, books, magazines, gossip, whatever... Guys can't commit. Guys are incapable of commitment. Guys cannot be monogamous. Blah blah blah. I don't know if it was my environment as a teenager and young adult, but me and all my closest guy friends, the six or seven of us who really stuck together through junior high and high school... We were the pathetically hopeless romantics. We were the guys who weren't necessarily desperate for girlfriends, but who, through some unfortunate stroke of chance, ended up with this annoying capacity to like one girl, and just that girl, and be totally content and satisfied. We were stupid and young and wrote goofy love poems. We'd daydream about taking our girls out on dates to nice restaurants downtown, or to music shows, or for long walks on the bridge. We'd make mix tapes for them, hold their hands during basement dates while watching videos. Never once did me or any of my guy friends question their feelings.
It was always the girls who dumped us. Either because we were too nice, or they "weren't ready for a relationship" (altho they always seemed to pop up with a new boyfriend the following week), or they just simply realized they didn't like us like that (funny how you girls always have to make out or fool around with us first before you can figure that crap out). Still, it was always the girls who didn't want to be in a relationship. Why? Because ever since they were little girls, they were constantly told they were pretty, they were beautiful, they were gorgeous, they were cute, and you all know, a beautiful girl gets whatever she wants. And beautiful girls want lots and lots of things.
This continues to today.
I'm not saying it's not good for women to feel independent and self-secure. I'm just saying, don't be afraid to let a man take care of you. Don't be so wrapped up in your own little girl-power world that you can't let your guard down enough to feel true affection and comfort. There are nice guys out there, girls, but if you blaze through them like a Tazmanian Devil hooker drunk on half-priced margaritas, you'll never find them.
...
On a lighter note, this summer is going the best EVER, as far as movies go.
Sin City opens today. From what I've seen of the previews alone, I have a deep feeling this movie is going to devastatingly kick our asses.
Next, you have Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith. I saw the previews for this movie, and I almost cried. For once, George Lucas may have gotten something right. I may just forgive him for the sparkling scheizefests that were Episodes I and II.
And then the movie I've been anticipating the most, for the past several years: Batman Begins. I've said over and over again, ever since I saw American Psycho, that Christian Bale should be Batman. And that it should be a movie about his origins, based on the Batman: Year 1 graphic novel by Frank Miller. Proof that God answers prayers came along a year and a half ago when I found out that a) Christian Bale was going to be the new Batman, and b) it was going to be a movie about his origins, based on the Year 1 graphic novel. Talk about wish fulfillment to the Nth degree...
Plus, you've got The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy, which looks unutterably fantastic; and then there's Steven Spielberg's War of the Worlds; Johnny Depp's Charlie and the Chocolate Factory; Tim Burton's The Corpse Bride; Fantastic Four... The list goes on and on. I'll be spending a LOT of time at the cineplex this summer.
Coincidentally, I'm taking a vacation in July to drive down to Tennessee. I'm going to gather the tribe and we're all going to watch Batman Begins at The Rave, this new theater in downtown Chattanooga that everyone's freaking out over. I hear it's possibly the coolest movie theater ever.
...
I think I might have a project for my blog. I think I'm going to write a blog post for each and every one of my obsessions, possibly to reveal the crazed psyche that exists within this fleshy gray globe of mine, and help me better understand myself. More to come...
posted by Billy at 1:17 PM
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